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Welcome Y'all!
I'm writing this as I drink a glass of wine. I won't even pretend to hide this fact. I like wine. Scratch that. I LOVE wine. At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to twelve resolutions-one for each month of the year. I was so positive on that December day of 2018. Some goals have been easier than others. No drinking during the month of March was tough. Like, really tough.
This post is all about the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of March.
A little background. I've been known to throw a few drinks back from time to time. I'm also not going to try to hide this. I will gladly go out to a bar, have a few drinks, and not feel bad about taking an Uber home. I will go out to dinner and have a glass or two of wine. I'm an adult. There is nothing wrong with this (I keep telling myself). What I am NOT about is getting smashed every night, vomiting, nor drinking and driving. But, enjoying a few...yes, please! The fact that I have two young children might also explain why I like to kick back with a glass. Kids are hard. Wine makes it easier.
Now, onto the month of March. I knew this would be a challenge. What I didn't know is just how much of a challenge this would be.
The first week, I thought, "Ok. This will be easy. So far, I'm doing ok. Also, this La Croix flavor is delicious." No biggie.
By the second week, things began to shift. I was still ok, but everyone was wondering and assuming things. "I bet you're sleeping better!" (Nope.) "Are you getting up earlier?" (Nope.) "I bet you have more time to get things done." (Nope.) These things weren't happening, plus I began to wonder if I was an alcoholic. We can be real here, right? I missed my wine. I missed my dose of pure relaxation in the evening once the kids went down. I was becoming irritable because my routine felt mismanaged. Again, am I an alcoholic?
Before you close out, I promise this post ends on a positive note.
Weeks 3 and 4 were the biggest challenges. I wanted to bad to give in. I tried to justify why I should have a drink. I chatted with John about why I should give in. On bad days, I just wanted to have a glass on my couch and zone out. I watched the finale of the Bachelor completely sober. Who does that?!
I went to events where there was alcohol present. We even hosted a party at our house. Soon, it was easier to say no. Don't get me wrong; I still wanted a draaank, but I figured...I've gone this far, I might as well stick with it. My friends also knew that I was challenging myself. Plus, they were super, and I mean extra super, supportive. God bless you, friends! To those who didn't know I was doing this challenge, automatically assumed I was pregnant, or it was decided that I would be the DD for the evening, or that I was on medicine in which I wasn't allowed to drink. The assumptions were actually obnoxious. "I'm just not drinking." was not a valid excuse to some. Situations like that one made me realize that I, myself, needed to be less worried about why someone isn't consuming. The 'why' doesn't matter; and frankly, it's none of my business. Mental note taken!
Remember me talking about my super supportive friends? When the 30 days were over, we celebrated with a killer workout followed by breakfast and mimosas. This is what friends are for!
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| Post workout + 30 days no booze = no cup necessary |
What did I learn in all of this? As you may have seen on my Instagram, I originally wrote a post about my 30 days of being sober and then deleted it. I deleted it because it sounded like a whiny sorority girl who was being punished (Ha, if you're one of my sorority girlfriends, remember when we got in so much trouble during Mallard Ball that one year? Ah, memories!).
After typing up all of these feelings, then absorbing all of that information, I had an epiphany. It was so much more than just not drinking...
This was a challenge. And a hard one for me. BUT, I was able to do it. As many times as I tried to talk myself out of it and make excuses, I stuck with it. What else can I make a habit in 30 days? Not just trivial things, but big things. At this point, I'm thinking that I can do just about anything. I can do that because I learned self-discipline. I learned to appreciate the luxury of wine. I appreciate it more. #winesnob. And, now, here's the biggie...it's not something that I feel like I HAVE to have. I have a much healthier relationship with alcohol. I fully believe that all true alcoholics don't ever make it their life mission to become one. It happens. Maybe I was on that path? Maybe not. Regardless, now I know I have the self-discipline and respect for myself to make the decision to do or not do something. I think that is HUGE.
Friends and family, thank you for your support. Some of you all did this challenge with me, sent me encouraging texts, tolerated my pictures I sent to you of me drinking water (haha!) etc. This would have been way harder without the help from you guys. Love y'all.
I'm no expert, but if you feel any kind of relation to this post; wondering if you're an alcoholic or even if you rely on alcohol too much, know that you're not alone. I hope this post gives you some kind of insight, reassurance, or heck any kind of relatability.
So, cheers!
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