thatmosesgirl: Things I Said Before I Was A Parent

Look at these pictures of my perfect children while I'm being the perfect mother?!

Remember in my first post when I stated that I would like to keep this space a no-judgement zone? Well, today I'm breaking that rule and judging myself in my BK (before kids) chapters of life.

BK, I would watch as other parents would care for their children and think about how I would do things differently, or the same, or whatever. Judge or admire.

We've all seen those moments...

The lady who is bribing her child with popcorn to get up off the floor in the middle of Target.

The dad who handed his child a tablet at the restaurant dinner table.

The mom who is yelling so loudly at her child at Publix, that the entire store hears her.

The parents with those backpack leashes on their kids.

The child who clings to his mommy because he's afraid of everything.

Spoiler alert! I have done all of the above. If parenting has taught me anything, it's that you will eat crow if you ever judge another parent. This post...this is me eating crow. The whole damn bird. I'm sorry random parents who didn't know I was judging you!

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Legit things I've said BK.

1. "I will never put my child in daycare."

Ha! Can we take a moment to laugh our faces off about this one? My thought was that I would be a stay-at-home mom and bake cookies with the children as I taught them their ABCs by the time they were 18 months old. Turns out, I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. Kuddos to those who are; you have the hardest job on the planet and the patience of a saint! So, I reluctantly (at first) placed my kids (and my bank account) into daycare. For my kids, my career, and my sanity, this has been one of the best decisions I've made as a parent. Socially and mentally, my kids are thriving! And they ought to with the amount of $$ I pay (PS, it's more than my monthly mortgage payment. Take that pill and swallow it.)!

2. "I will make my kids eat their vegetables every night."

Aw, that's cute, little baby Allison. Eat your peanut butter and jelly sandwich and try not to get it all over the place. Sure. Sometimes, I do make my kids eat their vegetables. But, sometimes, I really don't care. #shameless

3. "I will never bribe my kids."

Do you know how family pictures are made? BRIBERY! See this cuteness? I bribed him with chocolate to get him to lie down next to his sleeping newborn sister. Bribery + Chocolate = cute photo.

Photo by 8.08 Photography

4. "I will never yell at my kids."

I will yell in my house. I will yell with a mouse. I will yell here. I will yell there. I will yell everywhere! Different tactics work for different scenarios. Getting on a toddler's level and telling him it's not ok to slap his sister doesn't work. Yelling at him to never do that again...now, that works. The point got across to him pretty clearly when I got in his face and yelled. Again...#shameless

5. "My kids will never watch a tablet while we're eating."

If we're at a restaurant, and Antsty McPantsy can't keep still and he's spilled everyone's drink, rather than repeatedly asking him to sit and be still, (like wrestling a marlin) I hand over his tablet, chat with my husband, and eat a warm meal prepared by somebody else. Everyone is happy.

6. "My children will never have temper tantrums in public."

This is probably my personal favorite. If you see a parent who is dealing with their unruly kids, nod in his/her direction as if you're telepathically saying "I'm not judging you. Kids have tantrums." and then go about your own business. I'm the parent who pretends like nothing is happening whenever the bear has been poked. Showing my son ANY type of attention towards a tantrum leads to the bear being even more provoked. So, while I look like I'm not doing anything to tame the beast, I am. Again, just mind your business.

My new thing I say PK (post kids) is...

"I will never judge another parent."

Every parent has a story. They're likely going through something. BK, it was easy to scoff at the moms and dads who did all of these things. I would get annoyed if I heard kids crying; I'd think "why can't they get their kids under control?" We parents are doing the best that we can. Sometimes we just want to get in and out of Publix, so we shove the cookies in the kids' mouths. Sometimes, we allow our kids to get away with something because we're just so tired of fighting against them. Ugh. Parenting is hard. "Am I going to make my child a spoiled brat if I give him his fruit snacks before dinner?" "Does he really need another toy even though he was so good in Target?" "Am I spoiling my baby by holding her all of the time?" "Am I rotting his brain by allowing him to watch more than 1-2 hours of television this weekend?" "Am I being a good parent?" "When will they figure out that I have NO IDEA what I am doing?" Ssshhh. Don't you dare tell my kids!

Things we SHOULD say as parents...

"That mom is struggling. I should offer to help."

"Raise your children to be functional, kind, and respectful citizens."

"Be kind."

"Be humble."

"Make good decisions."

Whether you're in the BK or PK stage of your life, just remember, crow doesn't taste very good.