What a mom wants. What a mom needs. Whatever makes Mom happy sets you free! I know all of my 80's and 90's moms just had a mini jam session. If you're here looking for actual objects to give to your mom or get some ideas for your mama self, this isn't the post. HOWEVER, this is the post that will tell you what mamas REALLY want.
I'm a mother of two beautifully feisty kiddos. They're the apple of my eye, but also the reason I drink at night. Yeah, I said it. When the children get into the tub and scream for no reason, I just sit on the toilet next to the tub, close my eyes, and sip on a Cabernet that's been breathing for the last two hours; not because I was really letting it breathe, but because I was too busy scraping s*** from my fingernails after the last diaper change after I opened it. Ah, wine and a *manicure*.
But for real, I love my kids. My husband is an incredible father. No, really. He is. He is my sanity. Without this man, I wouldn't be able to have kids...literally and figuratively. My children are healthy. Praise the good Lord. And as much as I love the flowers, handmade cards, and snot-ridden breakfast in bed gifts that is a norm for MD, I'm here to spill the crushed grapes on what I, and what most mamas, really want. I gotchu, girlfriend!
1. A sleep-in. Like a I-didn't-even-hear-the-kids-get-up-this-morning sleep-in. If that requires a grand hotel. Well, pay-up, buttercup. Tired AF doesn't even begin to explain what the mamas experience after kids. Your ass never sleeps well after kiddos. Even when your kids are asleep and you're asleep, there's this piece of your brain that is on alert. You just KNOW when someone is going to throw up or have a nightmare. I've heard that this never goes away. Awesome.
2. A passion-fruit, pomegranate alcoholic vodka/rum beverage with a slice of pineapple in a pretty glass Mother's Day themed drink. Totally haven't put thought into this. **wink** Give me a tropical drink so that I can pretend I don't have stretch marks under my very sexy, but very one-piece bathing suit, nor have cellulite running from my fingertips to my toes. Keep those drinks coming.
3. The ability to pause/stop/ask questions during Game of Thrones without hesitation. Listen, this is the last season. I have to pee, (remember, my pelvic floor was much stronger before I birthed two giant children) I need a refill on my tropical drink, and/or it's time to pet the dog. Let me watch it on my time. Also, I may have questions. Answer the questions, or don't be involved.
4. A clean home complete with all laundry folded and put away; preferably completed by a unicorn.
5. Nobody ask me for a snack, where something is located, or fights over who gets to play with Catboy from PJ Masks. I want to sit, drink my mom-osa, light a fruity candle, and listen to my old NSYNC cd. Hey, this is MY day. Don't judge me.
We wipe the noses, the butts, and the tears. You make sure that the beautiful, nutritious, and well-planned meal that you put together gets cried over and tossed into the trash when the littles refuse to eat it. Even when you've just about lost it over the day's events, you would do it all again just to make your offspring happy.
So whatever it is you want or want to do today, I hope you get it or do it. You can't pour from an empty cup. You do you, mama. Enjoy YOUR day. You've got this.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
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